Hot Takes, Hidden Posts & a Very Public Pink Glove Meltdown
Filed Under: things I thought, dismissed, and said anyway.
Why am I so hot and bothered?
Reasons. My online presence was silenced. Platforms punished me.
And this week? Still happened.
This is what didn’t make it into the algorithm.
The stuff I wrote, deleted, rewrote, or nearly posted while mainlining coffee.
Survival, sass, and one absurd spiral at a time.
Including one secret, and one very public meltdown over… pink gloves.
Just don’t judge.
This Bugged Me (and I Posted Anyway)
• Facebook Suppression
Not targeted for hate speech, misinformation, or harassment.
No, I suspect someone was reminded (politely) that they were on my page after disagreeing with their Very Big Opinions™.
Newsflash: Meta hates facts and boundaries.
• LinkedIn Purgatory
Four days because I didn’t do their math.
Enthusiasm + following + commenting = violating community guidelines.
Turns out “engagement” is a violation now. Next time I’ll just wave politely and back away.
• Books Betrayals
Insomnia and reading are my nocturnal companions, so yes, I was betrayed at 3 a.m.
This week’s offenders: The Cheat Sheet by Sarah Adams & Summer in the City by Alex Aster.
Like… really? They ended up with those guys?
I’d love five minutes and a whiteboard with both heroines.
We can call it group therapy and map their exit strategies.
• Bad Business Advice Everyone Could Live Without
“The real tragedy isn’t running out of time… it’s spending years of your life on work that doesn’t feel like yours.”
Poetic and stupid for the win.
Is this supposed to be business advice or Field of Dreams: Capitalist Edition?
(“If you build it… with my 12-week course… the clients will come.”)
Offering: another “authentic” funnel packed with canned templates + dreamboard energy + bonus manifestation track.
Spoiler: You still won’t make 6 figures in 30 days.
And no, I’m not going to tell you who wrote that.
No one should read this stuff.
And while I tried not to say any of this out loud…
Things I Almost Said Out Loud
• Why is Juno News even on Substack?
Why can Candice Malcolm let other people publish to it like it’s a group chat for conspiracy cosplayers?
And why is it sitting in the top five for World Politics?
Hold on — wasn’t Substack supposed to be the “thinking person’s platform”?
I feel so lied to, I might need a refund on my discernment.
• Why are the Conservatives still letting Poilievre call the shots?
Seventy-three MPs just got assigned debate topics — handpicked by a guy who couldn’t even hold his own riding.
That’s not leadership. That’s delusion with a clipboard.
• Why are anti-protest bubbles being proposed in Canada?
Because we’re copying the worst of the U.S. — just with better manners and a fresh coat of polite.
It’s repression. But make it Canadian.
• Did I really bury the line “like a middle finger wrapped in rest” into a self-care post and hope no one would notice?
Yes, I did. Because honestly? That’s probably my most accurate political position.
And somewhere between the snark and the silences...
Unsolved Mysteries (Starring Me and My Sanity)
• Why does Facebook say 0 interactions when I see 3 likes and 1 comment?
And how does it have no views?
• Why is everyone talking about King Charles’ visit, but no one mentions his wife?
• And… why do I keep rethinking my entire career, life plan, and income structure — just because one algorithm didn’t like five posts in a row?
Briefly considered making lattes for a living.
At least that job comes with health benefits and fewer existential crises.
Which brings me to the lowest point of the week — and arguably, my strongest case for backup.
📄 Things I Should’ve Let Go (But Didn’t)
Up against a wall, I briefly considered a sugar daddy.
Ew.
Get. Your. Mind. Out of the gutter.
But seriously — I’ve aged out.
Too old, too jaded, too sharp-edged, and entirely too damaged for that to be a viable option.
If you’ve read me at all, you already knew that.
I was ready to dismiss the whole thing as ridiculous —
Until it hit me:
Maybe what I need is an old-fashioned benefactor.
Someone to pay me to write.
No commentary. No feedback loops.
Just quiet deposits. Like clockwork.
No domination — just literary stimulation and the occasional existential crisis.
Profile: Shay. Mildly Amusing. Writer.
Enjoys political satire (because honestly, what else is it?), cultural observation (because reality TV has nothing on social media), and the absurdity we keep calling “normal.”
Seeking:
Someone of good taste and silent demeanour
Willing to fund her obsession
With words, political commentary, & cultural insanity
Must not expect benefits.
Specifically not friends. And definitely not with benefits.
Must be able to use the button marked “Buzz Me.”
Without instruction.
Even though ChatGPT says tech is too hard for old people.
Only those breathing — and with a life expectancy of more than a year — need apply.
If you need a tutorial, you’re not the target audience.
What Fresh Fuckery Is This?
Proof that typing and thinking are not the same skill.
“First step you wear face masks and do skin care, wear pink gloves. What’s next? Are you going to wear a dress and request everyone to pretend you are a woman?”
— Trad Wife in Crisis
The horror.
Apparently, this is how empires fall.
Is that what happened to America?
Are they spiralling because Tyler wore pink gloves?
Or because he takes care of his skin?
Seriously — have you seen that man’s glow?
To be clear:
Wearing gloves = still a man.
Good skin care = still a man.
Cleaning = still a man.
And being visibly competent in the domestic space doesn’t make you less of one —
it just makes you better than whoever wrote this comment.
Also?
Tidy Dad is an IG institution.
He’s not confused. He’s evolved.
You, on the other hand, are crying into the algorithm because a man used a moisturizer.
The coffee is poured.
The mug is smeared with yesterday’s red lipstick.
My hair is piled on top of my head.
And my glasses? Are somewhere...
FYI: The nerdy librarian is on hiatus —
this has been the emotionally overdrawn narrator filling in until she’s back on Wednesday.
If this was too much… wait until next week.
I’m only just getting warmed up.
— Shay
P.S. The Buzz Me button is coming soon.